Not Me

Apparently, Joe and I have adopted another child in the last few months. I don’t recall going through the adoption process and I certainly don’t remember signing the papers. However, we have another child living in our house. From my estimation, the child is between the ages of 9 and 15. I have yet to determine whether our newest child a girl or a boy. But, our new family member is quite mischievous. Last week, I found clumps of wet grass tracked throughout my entire house. Despite the fact the grass was an exact match to our daughter’s soccer cleats, she denied any culpability. She said it was "not me." In the same week, I found trails of red mud throughout the house that were eerily similar to the mud on my son’s baseball cleats. However, he adamantly said he was not to blame, and it was "not me."

I then found seven unmatched socks strewn throughout the den and stairwell. The colors varied from pink to orange to black. Some appeared to belong to a boy. Some appeared to belong to a girl. However, when I asked my four children who left their socks around the house, they all responded it was "not me." I found a dirty T-shirt from our dance academy on the floor in the bathroom. I have two children who dance at that same Academy, but they said the T-shirt was left by "not me."

Speaking of dance, found a pink dance bag at the foot of the stairwell. It was there for three days. Four children had to step across it to get to their bedrooms each night. When asked who left it there, of course, it was "not me."

Unfortunately, my new child is no more responsible than my current children. When I came home late the other night and realized neither the dog nor the cat had been fed as they were begging at the door, I asked who had forgotten to feed them. Again, I was told it was "not me." Perhaps it is because the last few weeks of school have been so hectic. Or, perhaps my children have forgotten their list of chores. I’m not sure the cause, but my house has been a hot mess. Consistently, everyone has responded to questions about clutter and undone chores saying it was "not me."

I’d had enough. I was preparing a speech about responsibility and pulling your weight in the household. I had loaded my parenting guns with Scriptures and life lessons. When they all got home, I was ready to unload on them. But, before they all got off the bus, I went out to my filthy car to find the source of the latest stench and found this artwork:

My children all know that I have a pet peeve about writing on my car windows. No surprise, when I asked who had done this, it was "not me!" So, at least my new kid loves mom!!!! I saved the speech for later. As I was putting the finishing touches on my parenting lesson, I found these quotes and just chuckled.

Good moms have sticky floors, dirty ovens, and Happy kids.

A clean house is a sign of wasted life.

But, Mom, I did clean my room. You should have seen it when it was messy! Yep, I have decided to love “not me” with open arms!

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