I lost my friend Charlie last Friday. He drove to a quiet street in Charlotte and took his own life. I don't get it. I cannot believe he is gone. And, I cannot fathom what was going through his head at the time he made that choice. But, I have replayed every word of the last 100 conversations I had with him in my head. Do I feel the crushing weight of guilt and sadness? Yes. It washes over me in waves. Do I feel anger? Not yet. But I'm sure I'll get there. My heart just hurts